Every so often I get in these moods. Everything I do is crap, I'm a horrible person, I'm a failure, etc. I'm filled with anger and depressing thoughts. I want to get out of my skin, go somewhere else. Listen to lots of angry rock. LOUD.
It used to happen every three to six months and last for a few days. Lately though, it hasn't happened. I'd say my last bad spell was about a year ago. And it wasn't too long, maybe a day, day and a half.
Well, I'm in the middle of one of those spells right now. I really do not want to be here. Not as in not here on earth, just not...here. I want out of my skin.
Update: I'm feeling better. Really I am. It helps to 1) get it out - just say it in a public sphere somehow and 2) Bill called me and emailed me lots of lovely loving thoughts and 3) my mom called and 4) one of the situations at work that snowballed these feelings is clearing up. So I think I'm on a permanent up-swing now. Which would make this the shortest really depressive cycle I've ever had.
By the way, I have to credit Bill and our relationship for even-ing out these depressive cycles. His love and support really lift me up and keep me on an even keel. I love him so.
Posted by Jinglelady at October 29, 2004 03:10 PM | General | TrackBackJust remember and know how many people love and admire you for just being you! I have these cyclical feelings too and understand, but I think that their probably just not as acqute as yours. Humm. Maybe take a good book tomorrow morning love, treat yourself "out" to a nice breakfast, "get out" of the house, go to the sauna and relax, treat yourself to a massage and a nice dinner. Then call me :) and I'll cheer you up if that still hasn't broken your spell. Hugs! your Bill
Posted by: Brat at October 29, 2004 03:51 PMAnna we love you! Call!
Posted by: Mom at October 29, 2004 04:39 PM